adevneture, blog, goals, life, new beginnings, new year, photography, self love

24 things i learned in 2019

nothing changes, if nothing changes.

half of my 2019 was the worst and half of it was the best. this year i faced the worst of the worst fears that i had.

and i mean, it was honestly terrifying. but just like every year- we survive. its what we do. and i know, time is just an earthly measure of time that our brains sort of understand, but one year can really pick your brain and teach you a lot you didn’t know about yourself.

this past year i lost a lot of things.

starting with myself. i want to think that this was my peak point. the two years before that i felt very *floaty* and thats the only way i can describe my emotions and my life. like i was just floating and letting things happen because i felt like i literally could not control anything. and whatever i would try to control just wouldn’t work or it would go the total opposite direction. so i just let things happen to me. i want to say i even stopped trying at a certain point. i *knew* what my end goal was for this year which was moving to new york. but, even in that sense i felt no control over my plans at times. thankfully, i know i was blessed because everything worked out in ways that i never would have even imagined.

i lost people i NEVER thought i would lose. like when i say never, i mean never. ever ever. ever. one of those people, im honestly glad i lost. it taught me the value of being able to walk away even when you love someone. because if you value yourself as a person, you will have to walk away from people who hurt you. who openly hurt you and did for more years than should be allowed. this was the exact point at a restaurant in march where i lost it and i said no. and i took my power back. i took back the years of making myself small for someone else. someone who was never going to love me just as much as i loved him. and thats the moment i remembered who i was. thats the exact moment i found myself again. i want to take a moment to say how much i appreciate all the friends who helped me see the light in everything. who honestly held my hand and helped me through the messy waters.

the other person- i just honestly didn’t see it coming. i wish i could’ve done something to stop it. anything to stop the distance and the not catching up with eachother and letting eachother go over time. i know we can’t change the past- but there’s a lot to be said about wishing you could’ve just maybe done something else? something to make things go a different way. i wish i could tell her that she was one of the best people i’ve ever met. and that i love her. that i would have never survived without her. that sometimes, even though im very far away from her, i think of her. i think of her every day and i only hope for the best. i only hope for her to be happy. i only hope one day she’s not as mad as she seems to be at me, and we can just laugh about it and pretend it was all just a bad dream. but every bone in my body tells me we will never be those 20 year olds on the roof ever again.

and i guess thats what growing up is. you lose and you learn. and as hard as it is- you accept that some people played a bigger part in your life and story than you did in theirs. that maybe you just always loved them more. and thats okay.

i lost my fear of failing. which in hindsight- is a good thing. i decided to do things that terrfied me without knowing what the outcome would be. and hey- i’ve learned more about myself in the past 3 months than i’ve learned in the past 2 years. and that has to be something.

i lost my need to be organized and rigid and perfect 24/7. i was that girl. and although i generally still am- i don’t beat myself up over it anymore. i live a busy life. and sometimes that means i eat pb&j sandwiches all week because i barely have time to breathe. and sometimes i know that if i even think of laying down in the middle of the day i will fall asleep. and these have been the busiest, craziest, happiest, loveliest 3 months of my life. and i feel like before i might’ve thought i was happy. but man, am i happy. things are never easy, and they aren’t all what i thought they would be. they are expensive and time consuming (can someone say laundromats?) and sometimes annoying. but they are so happy. living this simply and out of my comfort zone i was sure i’d lack something but no- i’ve gained so much.

this is the first place in my entire life where i finally feel like i fit in. like this is what my whole life was leading up to. its full potential.

there are about 8 things more or less i want to do this year:

  1. complete my service hours!!! hard but doable.
  2. learn how to play the ukulele and start making more covers.
  3. hopefully get into dancing again (missin my ballet shoes righ abt now)
  4. have a healthy relationship with myself, my body and food.
  5. this year i want to create more. more videos, more film. more happy genuine documenting. it makes me so happy so i need to do more of it.
  6. go to the city and watch a broadway musical
  7. somehow get my hands on a super 8mm film camera. it would make my total and complete life.
  8. do things that genuinely make me happy every single day. little joys. its the little joys.

and heres what i supposedly learned:

  1. i will never under any circumstances work a full time job again- that is a vow and promise i will make to myself for forever
  2. love shows up in so many different ways. you just have to pay attention
  3. love languages are real. pay attention to them!!!
  4. its okay to miss people. its okay to tell them. it doesn’t make you weak. it makes you human.
  5. its okay that your conscience is different than someone else’s. it doesn’t make you stuck up or polished or whatever. it just to me- makes you a more aware person.
  6. how much i love my family and my culture. as i was getting ready to leave- i started to hone down and realize what things made me, me. and it all came down to the things i grew up with.
  7. i learned to appreciate my parents a lot more. they aren’t perfect. but they do so much. and they mean so much. and they are really that much.
  8. i learned that people leave and you can’t control when they leave or why they leave or if they leave. or really if it has anything to do with you.
  9. i learned to be thankful for the time people gave me, whether it was years or months.
  10. i learned that my mind really doesn’t function well if im not creating. which is why i have the goal of creating more.
  11. people will show up for you in unimaginable ways. please let them. don’t close yourself off to love and attention.
  12. i learned to spend time alone again. and to love it. for a period of time there, i felt like i couldn’t be alone. but now i love it again.
  13. i learned to stop being embarrassed. im a very naturally introverted person but i promised myself this year i’d start getting out there more. that i would stop being so self conscious. (which im def still working on btw)
  14. i learned that im the loving type. i love and i love and i dont ever stop. and i learned to accept that about myself. i’ve been made to feel at times that it was a weakness to let people back in like that. but i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again- if i love someone, i will love them until i die. even if i never hear from them again.
  15. vulnerability does not mean weakness. im a firm believer in saying things when you feel them. tell people you love them even if you think it will ruin everything. tell them you miss them and you can’t live without them. just tell them. i stopped holding back, mostly because (if you know me well) you know that i can’t physically or emotionally hold myself back too much either way.you say things, you tell the truth and you go from there. you go from there. things can either work or not but you won’t ever know if you don’t try.
  16. i learned to set myself more realistic goals. i used to have this super ridiculous high expectation of doing 20 things in a day which i won’t say is impossible but is downright degrading to yourself as an imperfect human who can’t do half of the thing you try doing- correctly. so no, i will not be trying to get up at 5am or go to sleep at 9 in the near future, but a girl can dream of getting a full 8 hours right?
  17. if someone is hurt by something you did, you don’t have the right to tell them to not be upset. what you can do is always, always fix it. always be the bigger person.
  18. i learned that i don’t like being around people who can’t own up to what they do. who can’t take advice. who can’t even confront or even talk when things get messy. this is just something i realized- and well i adjusted accordingly.
  19. this year i learned that the kind of love i want, is not unrealistic. i may not have it yet. but i can assure you its out there somewhere. on the face of someone who can’t wait to meet someone like me. and the fact is that i want something pure, honest, dare i say-life changing? i want the kind with flowers and walks in the park and aquarium dates and love letters, and a collection of videos explaining why i love them. and that does not make me hard to love. it just makes me honest about what i want.
  20. its hard getting older. its hard when you wake up and you’re 23. i speak for myself. in those moments i just take a deep breath and try not to look in the mirror too much. it drives you crazy getting old. i think it gets harder for me because the older i get the less time i feel like i have.
  21. i learned to accept that sometimes you find more family in people who are not your family. and thats okay. sometimes that’s the support system you always needed but never had.
  22. i realized how much i love arizona. i realized it the moment i set a date to leave to new york. i realized it the moment my room was empty. i realized it the moment i couldn’t stop crying when i was saying goodbye to my dad. when i was driving home from work for the last time. because i know it will be so different when i go back to visit. its not home anymore, and i’m afraid it never really felt like so. but the mountains can make you feel otherwise when the nostalgia hits.
  23. i finally understood what full circle meant. i could finally go back and look at the turning points in my life. i could look at them with a better knowledge about myself. one that i never had before. the kind that helps you understand that you went through all you went through and some things were easy and happy and some things were to put it simply- heartbreaking. but i don’t see myself here if it hadn’t been for all the things in between.
  24. the biggest thing i learned was that i knew what i was looking for all along. i could just never put it into perspective. and moving here. doing this. trusting people again. crying from the homesickness at times- they all make sense. i needed this. i found the me that i lost years ago. i found her again in the streets of the city and in the quiet parts of my little one lane town. i found her in the bookstores and the quiet snow days filled with apple cider and breakfast at tiffanys. i found her in the walks alone around the neighborhood, and the middle of the night laughs and taco bell runs with people that i never expected to find. i found her where she must’ve been trying to make her way to a long, long time ago. she was trying to make her way to the place that felt like home.

some words that really stuck in my head throughout this year:

the truth is that it hurts because its real. it hurts because it mattered. and that’s an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. but that doesn’t mean it won’t end, it won’t get better. because it will.

-john greene.

it hurt because it mattered. it hurt moving here. it hurt missing people. it hurt leaving my room. it hurt leaving my people, my friends. it hurt. because it mattered. it matters. so much. but you know what else mattered? my happiness. and this is only the start of what i want to say has been the happiest period of my life.

until next time. maybe i’ll write again in a year. maybe i will before and keep it to myself or maybe i’ll read it to someone.

-vi.

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adventure, blog, goals, life, new beginnings, photography, self love, travel, Uncategorized

flowers and forgiveness

and find the place where every single thing you see ,

tells you to stay.

-seeker

so this is what happens when you haven’t blogged in a long time and you don’t know how to start.

(fyi- im writing this as i think about the process of moving away and what the last 3 months have taught me)

so lets start from the beginning. my name is Violet and i haven’t written in a while so i hope this makes sense.

in exactly 47 days i leave my hometown for what seems to be indefinitely.

these past 6 months for me have been such a whirlwind. such an up and down slope sometimes i forget to stop and breathe. i think these have been the busiest 6 months of my life.

but i’m happy. i think. i hope. i aspire to be.

every day.

there has been one thing that hasn’t slipped from my mind lately and its so overwhelming its changed, absolutely everything for me.

its the seasons. the seasons of life. the seasons that we live in. the seasons that just pass us by and we don’t notice they’re gone until they are then you can’t get them back. like for example, i see my dad and my little sister sitting on the couch reading and it’s something so normal you wouldn’t even think of it but the other day i saw them and cried inside a little. because one day a long time ago, that was me. and not only that- but i soon won’t see that anymore. soon that season too, will pass. there’s the drive that i have taken home for more than 2 years that soon won’t be the same. and the way the sun sets after a big monsoon storm. and the park in front of my house that i always go to when im sad and i need to think.

i seem to have forgotten over the years that these things one day will be different. and one day is so close now.

there was a season of my life years ago where i thought i could live without anyone- definitely not in the mean way you would think but more in the way that i felt self sufficient. but i was also 18.

there’s the season where i was in love, so in love i thought i was floating. i thought pain and love were interchangeable.

theres the season where i couldn’t think of peppermints or empanadas without crying.

and theres the season where i thought i couldn’t live without someone, and here i am- living without him.

there’s the weird season that i don’t remember. when i couldn’t wake up ever and i blocked everything out.

the season where i would listen to joan sebastian in the car with my dad all the time. i attribute my love to him to the fact that my mom went to his concert when she was pregnant.

there’s the season that im living in now where i am trying to hold onto every last bit of memory i have of my home. my sisters laugh. the drive that i’ve taken home for the past 3 years. the sunsets. one of my best friends being pregnant with her first child. i can’t wait to meet dear little clara. and i don’t want to miss a single moment. but i also feel like i can no longer stay where i’ve always been.

theres the season when strangers turned into friends and then turned into strangers again. and that it can be quite terrifying to not have someone anymore and live in a world without them. to live in a world without hearing their voice again. to live in a world with no rooftop dates. yet this is the first time i’ve been able to accept it without any repercussions.

i think life will always bring you back to the ones you belong with. no time or measure can change that love.

theres the season i don’t want to remember because quite frankly- i’m not that person anymore nor do i want to be.

theres the one where i decided to move across the country and not tell anyone. because now is as good time as any.

and then theres the season where i would spend days on the roof with my best friend crying and wondering if we were ever going to get out of it not knowing that that was a season in itself. that the brokenheartedness was only a season. that it had a time frame.

and those are strangely some of the days i miss most. my rooftop days don’t often come around anymore.

and i guess what im trying to say is that seasons come and they go. and we have to accept that right now- in this moment we, me, you are living in a season that will soon be over and another one will start.

i’ve always been scared of new beginnings, of starting over. of no one knowing my name. of not knowing who i am. of never being in love again. of no one ever loving me the way i deserve. i guess a lot of my fears are based around love because that’s where i’ve been hurt the most. but right now- in this somehow fleeting moment of security and confidence i am so ecstatic and ready for my new beginning. and i’m confident all those things will come.

and after this years convention- i am so confident that real love, true love, it never fails. in whatever form that may be.

and for those of you who have been here since 2016 know that a lot of my posts have revolved around dealing with hard situations, forgiveness, emotional wellbeing and so on.

although i was writing all of that, and i still wholeheartedly agree, at times i knew that there was still so much inner work to be done within myself to get to where i wanted to be.

to get to the flowers. to get to the forgiveness.

the flowers- the flowers are the blooming moments. this is the year for blooming. you and i have grown a lot. its time for these flowers to be as beautiful as our Creator meant for them to be.

did you know flowers can be dormant for a long time? they can be. but that doesnt mean they were never flowers to begin with.

you and i have always been flowers. you are beautiful. you are kind, i am kind. i can be. i will be.

it sounds cliché, maybe. but these are words we often forget to tell ourselves. i am so exhausted of thinking so lowly of myself, when i keep myself afloat and thats so much more than i ever give myself credit for.

i want to be kind to myself. because negative thinking patterns are hard to reverse but it can be done. there will be fall throughs- but if i’ve done it so many times before. i can do it again. and again, and again until its over. until all i can think of is how great my day was.

of how blessed i am to be living this life.

and there’s the forgiveness.

to yourself. to the you, to the me, that woke up this morning and immediately had a headache thinking about all the responsibilities. and those are just for today. to the me who is not happy all the time, but nevertheless she is trying.

earlier this year i wrote a list of all the things i wanted to learn to do this year. goals i was setting for myself. things i wanted to work on. dreams i strived to accomplish. one of them said “find the love of my life”. and looking back i don’t know what i meant at the time but i know what it means now. i don’t know if i was talking about another person, another kind of life, another mindset.

but now. now i see it. i was always the love of my life. if i could not begin to love myself, how would i go through this life like that? hating every piece? i couldnt, i can’t continue doing that.

thats not to say you can’t love other people if you don’t love yourself. because i’ve done it so many times before. and i like to think i always strive to put others ahead of me, because i love them. because it makes me who i am. and ive done so even when i didn’t love myself.

and although im not perfect or even close to liking myself as much as id like to, im much closer than i was.

and right now, as im laying in bed and all i can see is the ceiling spinning because today has been one of the days i cant get out of my own head- i remember something my sister has always told me. even if this is the worst possible day you could imagine it being- you never have to live through it again. you don’t have to go through it again. and oh how im going to miss her. i always keep those words very close to me.

if i lived through this not once, twice, but many times and i picked myself up. how wonderful. how serene. how gratifying it is to know i am capable of picking myself up and trying again.

i like to think of how proud 11 year old me would be. that i persisted. that im doing what i dreamed even if its terrifying. and im proud of her too. because she’s still the girl who loves to read. who loves spending time alone and who is so environmentally aware it’s actually a little funny. the one who takes pictures with her film camera of her favorite moments before they fly away. im still the little girl who won the spelling bee and spent my target gift card on yet more books. the hopeless romantic. the arizonian at heart who has cowgirl boots (what will i do with these in new york?)

im still her. looking up at the stars. contemplating all the possibilities. but remembering she cant choose them all.

as i pack up all my things in boxes, and along with that all the memories of the 22 years of life i have created for myself i am certain of only one thing between all the unknowns-

that i will be okay. that i will survive. that i will be happy.

i. will. be. okay.

that i will always have the flowers and the forgiveness. thats its time to forgive myself.

its time to love without bounds in between. to take a walk in my new neighborhood and wonder how i got here, but smile at every. single. part of it.

how its only once in a lifetime that your best friend decides to help you drive across the country to help you accomplish your hopes and dreams.

to serve the one who has given me everything without bounds. and how He has given me this opportunity and has guided every step of the way. what a loving Father and God i so undeservedly have.

to be so thankful, extremely just thankful that you have what you once prayed for. and the thing is- Jehovah knows exactly when the right moment is to answer our prayers. sometimes its right around the corner. sometimes it takes years. but when you get the answer- you KNOW. you feel it in your bones, in the innermost corners if your being- you know. its a beautiful thing when you ask for something for so long and now you realize why you didn’t get it. because it wasn’t good for you. and when its something thats so clearly for you- you will see the answers right in front of you. its something only you know, something you have to go through to see it happen, to see it change your entire life.

and i cannot believe this is my life.

and just drove across the country and packed all my things in my little subaru. and we went to chicago and a million other places and theres pictures and videos that one day i will show to my husband (lol) and possibly my children and i want to tell them how happy this made me. how even though i was scared i went for it and the circumstances weren’t perfect and i got about 10 anxiety attacks in between but i made it. i made it. im here.

and im going grocery shopping in a little bit. and somehow that calms me down.

im sitting here in the place i fell in love with when i was only 18 years old. its real, im here.

im sitting on the floor of this empty room wondering how i got here. the possibilities are endless. and im not just talking about paint.

im talking about life. its time to be brave. to face this head on. i just want to see myself be brave.

and i have never felt closer.

it really is the blooming season.

but darling, you are a river.

the rocks will break you.

the valleys will bend you.

but you will never stop.

because that is what you do.

you flow.

– vinati

and with that being said. i hope everyone who reads this knows that they can be brave too.

healing never comes from a place of comfort, it comes from a place of growth and accountability.

remember that breaking up with your past and running towards your future is never easy. the growing pains are real.

gift yourself flowers.

shower yourself with forgiveness.

never in my wildest dreams did i think i would get here today.

yet here i am- with a brand new mind in an old but new place. an old and new dream come true. the place that makes my heart beat.

-vi.

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adventure, blog, goals, life, mental health, new year, photography, self love, travel

24 things i learned in 2018

its been three incredible, growth-filled years since i started blogging.

three years. i know it may not seem like much but the amount of messages (deep, heartfelt messages) i’ve gotten thanking me for being able to explain how they feel- is just amazing to me. i started this for myself. because there were words i needed to say to people or situations that didn’t want to hear it- but i needed to tell somebody. anybody.

and thats how this started. and oh, how much i’ve grown. i don’t even recognize the girl who wrote the first “24 things i learned in 2016” post. its not me anymore. its much better. and looking back and reading those words i can accept what i felt gracefully and look back with only a thankful heart because apart from all the coming-of-age, heartbreak, 20 year old stuff, they helped me. the words helped me. the messages helped me. i remember one specific blog post i wrote last year about letting go, a friend of mine who doesn’t live here sent me the sweetest message. i remember she said she felt like she couldn’t find the words for what she felt for so long but she finally found them in my words. and i thought, me? what i wrote? my experiences actually helped someone?

yes. yes they did. and that in turn helped me heal in tremendous ways. from not knowing who in the world i was and feeling like i was not in my body at times, like it was not me. up until a few months ago i felt myself healing, finally growing, finally seeing what was so evidently coming next. how Jehovah was going to help me as long as i trusted in Him fully. and now i see it so clearly. i see exactly what i want. i see exactly where i want to be a year from now when i used to not even know what was coming tomorrow. from barely surviving to actually fully living.

so i want to thank every single person who read these posts over the past three years. who reached out and told me how much they helped and how much they relate. i truly love all of you guys. i’ve made friendships out of this blog. wonderful ones to say the least. i’ve become so vulnerable and talked about things that not everyone has the nerve to say, or accept. and i used to be scared but now i get questions and more questions and im so excited for life. i have never been this excited for life. like ever. and i used to think i couldn’t feel this way. obviously everyone has the bad days but i feel myself again. at least im myself and not in my head 24/7- or trying to get out of it, honestly.

growth is what it feels like to lose former versions of ourselves. its the shedding of the skin and the journey to becoming who we truly are. we have to unlearn and grow through who we thought we had to be, so we can just be. – mark groves

thats right- we have to unlearn. bet you’ve never heard that before. everyone says we have to learn and learn and learn and keep going to sometimes the point of exhaustion so that we can turn into this superhuman version of ourselves but sometimes we have to unlearn things. we have to unlearn toxic thinking patterns, toxic coping mechanisms, toxic habits. we have to unlearn our past selves so that we don’t fall back into harmful behavior. so we don’t fall back to running to the same old habits, the same toxic people, the same toxic situations just because thats all we know.

learn to unlearn. learn to let go. learn to let yourself be this new, great version. we can be as good or as bad as we really want to be.

i really dislike resolutions people give themselves in the new year because really we can change whenever but if thats what it takes for you- do it. we all have goals and things to work on. its only human.

now onto the list:

  1. learn how to do taxes and adult stuff- it honestly is important
  2. keep a clean environment- it helps your thinking space, your creative space, your mental space and pretty much everything else. messy life, messy mind.
  3. don’t tell people your business. i see a lot of people around me hype themselves up over things they haven’t fully planned out and then they don’t work out and they’re embarrassed. happens to the best of us.
  4. go out as much as you can (or can tolerate). this one has helped me a lot. i’m not a sociable person but usually i end up feeling better if i just go. i’ve met some incredible people along the way too.
  5. self-care is no joke. i know its hard but like really taking a bath once a week is gonna help or whatever you wanna do to take care of yourself really.
  6. try to shift yourself into a more positive mindset. less “poor me” and more “yay me”.
  7. go to all the good concerts. you could like really miss the chance of ever seeing them again
  8. have a creative outlet or a creative goal in mind. i’d probably go insane if i didn’t have some kind of creative hobby.
  9. quit anything that makes you feel like you want to die or just cry all the time. and i mean this in the most serious way possible- whatever it is just quit it because something better will come along.
  10. don’t suffer alone. i feel like the older we get- the more we tend to think we can’t talk about certain things or issues but there is always, always someone who cares enough about you.
  11. fewer people is always such a better time. than having a million friends whom you have nothing in common with.
  12. i feel like i wrote this on my first 24 things post but stop saying sorry so much. so many people this year have made me feel like i have to apologize for things they’ve done. or things i simply didn’t even do. so i say this to myself again- stop saying sorry so much. but also- say sorry when there is a reason and when you really messed up. even if you didn’t even notice that you did something to offend them. its good to just clear the air.
  13. you don’t need to do everything for everyone. (even friends or family) i know thats just who some of us are, but at one point they need to do things for themselves. sometimes people get comfortable with everything you do that they just rely and rely and rely and keep asking. focus on mutual understanding, respect, and mutual relationships in life.
  14. this ones gonna be random but define your style. i’ve worked for that in the past few months and it helps soo much with confidence and just feeling good in general.
  15. help anyone who needs it. like anyone. drop what you’re doing and just listen because sometimes thats all they need.
  16. just keep traveling a lot. try to squeeze in some alone trips because you honestly learn SO much about yourself.
  17. sometimes you change and someone else changes and things just change but thats part of being an adult and its part of having different goals and sometimes people just don’t fit anymore. and its okay. you eventually find your people and your way.
  18. don’t confuse loneliness for missing them. sometimes we just miss being in a relationship and not the person really.
  19. also you don’t need to be married by 20 contrary to popular belief. don’t let people set you up, tell you you’re picky or that you should marry or date so and so’s son. it doesn’t work that way. arranged marriages are not what we want in 2019 lol. but really- just don’t pay any mind to it.
  20. honestly if you know you have anxiety, if you know you have depression or something along the lines- please please please get some help before it gets out of hand. it won’t just go away. even if its a natural doctor if you’re against meds. its the best thing you can do for you. in a year you could be in a much better, much more beautiful place.
  21. really think about and solidify your goals. make a plan, make a list. write down exactly what you need to do in order to get where you need to. remember why you started. whatever you thought of- remember the why. its your driving force.
  22. no, you actually don’t need a boyfriend. you just need to be happy.
  23. sometimes people don’t love you the way you need to be loved. and its okay. you don’t have to be the only one communicating or confronting. relationships with others should honestly just be mutual. not equal, but mutual. because sometimes you need to pick up the other person and thats okay. my longest standing friendships are the ones i’ve never even had an argument with because there’s always communication that in the end, there’s not even room for issues to come up.
  24. love yourself, love the people who love you. love the people who don’t love you. love the people you used to love but things happened. honestly my biggest goal in life is to just love everyone. no matter if things happened between us that can no longer be fixed. you still have a place in my heart, i’ll still pick up the phone if you call. that kind of love. the good kind of love.

thank you guys for reading. i hope you all continue to be positive and work through whatevers coming next because this life isn’t getting any easier. i hope you love people and i hope they love you.

and i hope with all my heart that everyone finds what they’re supposed to, and everyone finds their way because i well know what its like to be lost.

with so much love, as always. – vi

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